the Disillusioned kid: Immigration laws are a load of arse
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Friday, February 03, 2006

Immigration laws are a load of arse

In an ideal world we'd all be able to move around freely, unhindered by the artificial boundaries thrown up by states. It should be fairly obvious, however, that the world we live in is far from ideal. As such, moving around is easier for some people than others. If your rich and white than you can go pretty much anywhere you want, but if you've got brown-skin and not a lot of money, things can be very different.

Race and class aren't the only factors that can impact on your holiday plans your gender can also be an issue. I commented last month on allegations of a "sex for visas" scam at a London immigration centre. As disgraceful as that was, it did take place behind closed doors. Nobody openly proclaimed that women's abilities in the bedroom should be included in the new citizenship test, at least not as far as I'm aware. It turns out (via Twisty) that we've got to look to our Atlantic brothers for anything that blatant.

Dorismar is Argentinian and a former Playboy model who has lived illegally in the States for five years. On January five the immigration services turned up at her house and deported her and her husband. So far so everyday reality for "illegal immigrants" the world over. What makes this case different is the argument her attorney, Michael Feldenkrais, is using to try and have her allowed back into the US; namely that she should be classified as "an alien of extraordinary ability." Helpfully, Mr Feldenkris decided to go on NBC to explain his thinking (if it can be dignified as such):
TUCKER CARLSON, HOST 'THE SITUATION': What exactly is Dorismar's extraordinary ability?

MICHAEL FELDENKRAIS, DORISMAR'S ATTORNEY: Well, the INS has already considered her as an extraordinary ability, and that‘s probably her looks, her singing abilities, and her looks, I guess.

CARLSON: You can't see the screen, but we unfortunately have—we've blotted out her extraordinary ability that you're talking about. And that‘s her rear end, of course. She was named by "Mirror" magazine as a woman who possessed one of the top 25 rear ends in all of entertainment. You're saying that because this girl has a cute butt, she should be a U.S. citizen?

FELDENKRAIS: Well, not necessarily U.S. citizen. But she should be allowed to be able to work in this country. She should be allowed to come in and do her performances, do whatever it is that she needs to do to proceed with her continued dream of becoming a, quote unquote, supermodel and so on and so forth. Absolutely. She should have the right to work, come in, maybe even leave, go in and out of the country. Absolutely.

CARLSON: So that—you think that that‘s a valid criterion for entry into the country, having an extraordinary body, having a cute butt. That's sort of—you know, all the girls with the dumpy butts don't get in. But the ones with the cute ones do.

FELDENKRAIS: In reality it's not a matter of her having a cute butt and somebody having a bad butt. But the reality is there is a classification for people who have risen to the level where she has in the scenario of...

CARLSON: Risen to the level. She stars in "Latinas gone Crazy." Now, no offense. I haven't actually seen the video. But I mean, it's not like—I mean, she's not Barbra Streisand. You know what I mean? "Latinas Gone Crazy." Do we need more "Latinas Gone Crazy" actresses in this nation, truly?

FELDENKRAIS: Well, I don't know if we need them or we don‘t need them. But the reality is that she is—that's her job. That is our job like my job is to be an attorney. Your job is to be—and each one of us has our own abilities. Her ability is to become a model that shows what men like to see in magazines like "Playboy" and so on. [Emphasis added.]
Patriachy is rarely so honestly expressed. Further comment would seem to be superfluous.

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