It never reigns it pours

God save the queen
She ain't no human being
There is no future
In England's dreaming
- Sex Pistols,God Save the Queen

It's almost thirty-years since John Lydon and his band of less than merry men railed against the preposterousness of the Monarchy, bringing us the number one that never was. While Lydon is now reduced to little more than a parody of his former self on reality TV repeats, her Madge Queen Elizabeth II reigns on (and on and on) even as she enters her eightieth year. Mores the pity says I.

The refusal of the Monarchy to die is mildly less irritating than society's refusal to kill it. We still seem to be wed to a belief that there are such things as natural social superiors and retain a curious distaste for democracy. It's telling that the arguments offered as justifications for the Royal Family's continuing existence are universally hollow. Witness the claim that it brings tourists to the country as if France or the US don't attract holiday makers.

There is, however, one glimmer on the horizon. Unbeknownst to all but a small cabal of anti-Monarchists, a secret team of highly-trained agents has infiltrated the Royal Family itself and been developing what is likely to be the most potent weapon in the Republican arsenal since the guillotine. This weapon is to be unleashed on the Queen's death and currently operates under the codename Charles.

Seriously though, I actually think that Charles may be the most powerful piece of kit in the Republican toolbox. Lizzy has, if nothing else, been good at keeping her head down and her mouth shut, which has by and large allowed her to steer clear of controversy. Charlie Boy by contrast seems to have inherited none of this tact and seems to have acquired his father's ability to piss people off to boot. In anybody else these character flaws might be dismissed as idiosyncracies, in a modern king they have the potential to bring down the Monarchy. Imagine what could happen if he tried to take on Parliament. One of his namesakes tried that. It all got a bit out of hand and he lost his head.

Frankly I can't wait.

File Under: Monarchy, Republicanism, Royalty, Queen